Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Linux Baby Rocker awesome video
Being such a big fan of UNIX command line, could not help myself sharing this video here:
The video:
The video:
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The funny story about Monkey Business
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs. 10/-
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at Rs. 10/- and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs. 20/- This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs. 25/- and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs. 50/-
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they neither saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!
Welcome to the 'Stock' Market!!!!! *
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at Rs. 10/- and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs. 20/- This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs. 25/- and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs. 50/-
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they neither saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!
Welcome to the 'Stock' Market!!!!! *
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Too long stay in one compnay - funny picture
No intention to offend anybody, just an email forward :-)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The Modern Panchtantra Story - funny
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Marriage Anecdote - funny email forward
01 Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.
02 The most effective way to remember your spouse's birthday is to forget it once.
03 Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now, I catch her in my pockets.
04 Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
05 For a lot of people, marriage is a three-ring circus. You have the engagement-ring, the wedding-ring, and the suffe-ring.
06 Married life is very frustrating!! In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
07 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
08 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
09 A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags. I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says,
"Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
10 A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"
11 Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.
12 A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it, because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
13 A true music lover is a man who puts his ear to the key hole to listen to a beautiful woman singing in the tub.
14 Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
15 NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner? SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices? NEWLYWED: Yes and no.
02 The most effective way to remember your spouse's birthday is to forget it once.
03 Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now, I catch her in my pockets.
04 Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
05 For a lot of people, marriage is a three-ring circus. You have the engagement-ring, the wedding-ring, and the suffe-ring.
06 Married life is very frustrating!! In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
07 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
08 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
09 A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags. I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says,
"Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
10 A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"
11 Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.
12 A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it, because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
13 A true music lover is a man who puts his ear to the key hole to listen to a beautiful woman singing in the tub.
14 Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
15 NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner? SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices? NEWLYWED: Yes and no.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
UNIX consultant - very funny conversation
** Only for UNIX users.
Need a little UNIX help?
Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ?
UNIX consultant: Yes, that's correct.
Customer: No, what is it ?
UNIX consultant: Yes.
Customer: So, which is the one ?
UNIX consultant: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Customer: Stop this. Who are you ?
UNIX consultant: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about yoo'.
Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
UNIX consultant: Use 'what'.
Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ?
UNIX consultant: No. 'true' gives you 0.
Customer: Which one ?
UNIX consultant: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?
UNIX consultant: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program' to get the revision code.
Customer: I want to find the revision code.
UNIX consultant: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'
Customer: Which command will do what I need?
UNIX consultant: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.
UNIX consultant: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.
Customer: Write what?
UNIX consultant: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
Customer: Cut that out!
UNIX consultant: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the options.
Customer: Do you always do this ?
UNIX consultant: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Customer: HELP!
UNIX consultant: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).
Customer: You make me angry.
UNIX consultant: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' when I was upset once.
Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX consultant: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has 'more'.
Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now!
UNIX consultant: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless, of course, 'now' is a file name.
Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX consultant: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to the Pascal Compiler team.
Need a little UNIX help?
Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ?
UNIX consultant: Yes, that's correct.
Customer: No, what is it ?
UNIX consultant: Yes.
Customer: So, which is the one ?
UNIX consultant: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Customer: Stop this. Who are you ?
UNIX consultant: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about yoo'.
Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
UNIX consultant: Use 'what'.
Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ?
UNIX consultant: No. 'true' gives you 0.
Customer: Which one ?
UNIX consultant: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?
UNIX consultant: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program' to get the revision code.
Customer: I want to find the revision code.
UNIX consultant: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'
Customer: Which command will do what I need?
UNIX consultant: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.
UNIX consultant: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.
Customer: Write what?
UNIX consultant: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
Customer: Cut that out!
UNIX consultant: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the options.
Customer: Do you always do this ?
UNIX consultant: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Customer: HELP!
UNIX consultant: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).
Customer: You make me angry.
UNIX consultant: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' when I was upset once.
Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX consultant: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has 'more'.
Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now!
UNIX consultant: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless, of course, 'now' is a file name.
Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX consultant: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to the Pascal Compiler team.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Never go to HR for help - funny moral story
Just got this email forward, quite funny. ** No intend to offend anyone
After 5 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;
Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Ma! n:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR=HIGH RISK
After 5 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;
Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Ma! n:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR=HIGH RISK
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Find your land line number - funny math
** Applicable for 7 or 8 digit land line numbers
Steps to follow:
1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your land line telephone number (NOT the area code)
(For 8 digit Tel. Nos. - key in the first four digits of your phone number)!
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2
Got the answer ??
Steps to follow:
1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your land line telephone number (NOT the area code)
(For 8 digit Tel. Nos. - key in the first four digits of your phone number)!
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2
Got the answer ??
Monday, March 16, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Impact of job change - funny story
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap
would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years.
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