Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The Modern Panchtantra Story - funny
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Marriage Anecdote - funny email forward
01 Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.
02 The most effective way to remember your spouse's birthday is to forget it once.
03 Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now, I catch her in my pockets.
04 Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
05 For a lot of people, marriage is a three-ring circus. You have the engagement-ring, the wedding-ring, and the suffe-ring.
06 Married life is very frustrating!! In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
07 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
08 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
09 A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags. I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says,
"Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
10 A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"
11 Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.
12 A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it, because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
13 A true music lover is a man who puts his ear to the key hole to listen to a beautiful woman singing in the tub.
14 Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
15 NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner? SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices? NEWLYWED: Yes and no.
02 The most effective way to remember your spouse's birthday is to forget it once.
03 Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now, I catch her in my pockets.
04 Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
05 For a lot of people, marriage is a three-ring circus. You have the engagement-ring, the wedding-ring, and the suffe-ring.
06 Married life is very frustrating!! In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
07 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
08 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
09 A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags. I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says,
"Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
10 A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"
11 Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.
12 A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it, because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
13 A true music lover is a man who puts his ear to the key hole to listen to a beautiful woman singing in the tub.
14 Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
15 NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner? SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices? NEWLYWED: Yes and no.
Friday, July 3, 2009
The old Carpenter Inspirational Story
Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and choices today!
This is a story of an elderly carpenter who had been working for a contractor for many many years. He had built many beautiful houses but now as he was getting old, he wanted to retire and lead a leisurely life with his family. So, he goes to the contractor and tells him about his plan of retiring. The contractor feels sad at the prospect of losing a good worker but agrees to the plan because the carpenter had indeed become too fragile for the tough building work. But as a last request, he asks the old carpenter to construct just one last house.
The old man agrees and starts working but his heart was not in his work any more. He had lost the motivation towards work. So, he resorted to shoddy workmanship and constructed the house half-heartedly. After the house was built, the contractor handed over the front door keys to the carpenter and said, This is your new house. My gift to you. The carpenter was shocked and upset. Had he known that he was building his own house, he would have done a better job! Now, he would have to live in the house, which is not worth staying.
Think of yourself as the carpenter. You work hard every day but are you giving your best? We put our least to the work we don't like or do not have interest in. Later, we get shocked at the situation we have created for ourselves and try to figure out why we didn't do it differently.
Enjoy your tasks and carry on your responsibilities with pleasure and not with pain. Life is a do-it-yourself project. Do your job enthusiastically and with devotion, a positive output and a pleasing life will certainly be on your way.
This is a story of an elderly carpenter who had been working for a contractor for many many years. He had built many beautiful houses but now as he was getting old, he wanted to retire and lead a leisurely life with his family. So, he goes to the contractor and tells him about his plan of retiring. The contractor feels sad at the prospect of losing a good worker but agrees to the plan because the carpenter had indeed become too fragile for the tough building work. But as a last request, he asks the old carpenter to construct just one last house.
The old man agrees and starts working but his heart was not in his work any more. He had lost the motivation towards work. So, he resorted to shoddy workmanship and constructed the house half-heartedly. After the house was built, the contractor handed over the front door keys to the carpenter and said, This is your new house. My gift to you. The carpenter was shocked and upset. Had he known that he was building his own house, he would have done a better job! Now, he would have to live in the house, which is not worth staying.
Think of yourself as the carpenter. You work hard every day but are you giving your best? We put our least to the work we don't like or do not have interest in. Later, we get shocked at the situation we have created for ourselves and try to figure out why we didn't do it differently.
Enjoy your tasks and carry on your responsibilities with pleasure and not with pain. Life is a do-it-yourself project. Do your job enthusiastically and with devotion, a positive output and a pleasing life will certainly be on your way.
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