Differences between You And Your Boss - funny

all-mixed: no intention to offend/hurt anybody

# If you take a long time, you're slow.
BUT if your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

# If you don't do it, you're lazy.
BUT if your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

# If you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
BUT if your boss makes a mistake, he's "only human".

# If you're on a day off sick, you're "always" sick.
BUT if your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

# If you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
BUT if your boss does it, he's being firm.

# If you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
BUT if your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

# If you please your boss, you're a boot-licker.
BUT if your boss pleases his boss, he's being cooperative.

# If you do something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
BUT if your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

# If you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
BUT if your boss is out of the office, he's away for important meetings.

# If you ask to leave early, you must be going for an interview.
BUT if your boss takes the afternoon off, it's because he's overworked.